Forever Young
by peggyjane
Summary: Rachel and Puck try to make sense of their feelings for each other, whilst tackling High School and a shocking diagnosis.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: **Forever Young.

**Pairing: **PuckleBerry.

**Rating: **T - Only because of a few mild swear words.

**Summary: **Rachel and Puck try to make sense of their feelings for each other, whilst tackling High School and a shocking diagnosis.

**Notes: **Sweet Child of Mine will be finished, the next chapter should be up later today and then there is only five more left. This story was begging to be posted though. Oh and in my world the winner and runner-up from Regionals head to Nationals.

1.

It was on a Monday that Rachel first noticed something was really wrong. Ever since Regionals she had been telling herself that it was nothing, that the headache was just a result of her disappointment in placing second to Vocal Adrenaline.

That waking up every morning in a mad dash for the bathroom was because she was exhausted, that she was still trying to come to terms with the changes in her life; finding her mother, losing her mother, breaking up with Jesse and kissing Noah Puckerman the night of Regionals.

It wasn't until she woke up on the floor of the shower, with her father banging on the door, telling her that she was going to be late for school that she started to panic. At first she had tried to chalk it up to exhaustion too, but then she realised that she was averaging eight to nine hours sleep a night.

Plastering on a fake smile she assured her father that she was alright as she headed off to school. He believed her, he had no reason not to, Rachel had always been a model daughter.

"Hey Berry," Puck called out as he approached her in the hallway.

Rachel winced as she spotted the blue slushy in his hand. "Make it quick," she muttered closing her eyes against the freezing-facial she feared she was about to receive.

"They ran out of grape," Puck shrugged as he handed her the drink.

Slowly Rachel reached out to take the drink from him, her hand missing the cup and grabbing at thin air, blinking she shook her head and tried again, this time taking the drink from him. "Thank-you."

"Are you drunk?" Puck asked, the only time he'd ever missed taking hold of something like that, was when he had more wine coolers than he did blood running through his veins.

"No," Rachel replied, slightly offended that he would even think that.

Puck frowned. "Jeez, chill Berry."

"I just didn't sleep very well last night," Rachel lied, feeling the need to explain herself.

"Up late working on our science project I hope," Puck grinned, he was usually able to win girls and boys alike over with his smile.

Rachel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What science project?"

"The one we were assigned to do together, the one that you said would be much easier if I just let you get on with it," Puck reminded her.

"I … er … I think I must have forgotten," Rachel stuttered, genuinely confused as to how she could have forgotten about a whole science project.

Puck shook his head, he was badass but even he wouldn't dare cross Mr. Dean, the crazy science teacher with the twitchy eye. "Berry."

"Science isn't until last period, if I skip gym class I'm sure I can have it finished by then," Rachel assured him, wincing against the bright lights in the hallways.

Puck watched as she rubbed her temples, as if she was trying to will away a headache. "Are you sure you're not hung-over?"

"I'm sure," Rachel snapped, slamming her locker shut as she headed towards first period, hoping the rest of the day would turn out better.

Watching her leave Puck couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, he couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was something just didn't feel right.

"What do you care anyway," Puck muttered to himself as he shoved his letterman jacket inside of his locker. "You're Noah Puckerman you can have any girl you want," the little voice inside his head added, as he headed towards basketball practice, pushing the tiny, brunette to the back of his mind.

He managed to keep all thoughts of the brunette at bay until he walked into the science lab to find her desk empty. "Have you see Berry?" he asked, turning towards Brittany.

Brittany shrugged her shoulders. "I had some blueberries for lunch."

"Rachel Berry," Puck elaborated. "About so high," he described holding his hand up to his chest. "Can usually be found singing or saying something really obnoxious."

"I passed her on the way into the bathroom a few minutes ago," Santana frowned, wondering why he even cared.

Running his hand across his chin Puck sat down at his desk, his eyes fixed firmly on the door as he waited for Berry to arrive with their project. His impatience growing as the minutes ticked by, bringing him closer to his presentation; a presentation he didn't have.

Standing up Puck headed for the door. "Noah where are you going?" Mr. Dean asked, stopping the teenager in his tracks.

"To the bathroom," Puck half-lied, he was going to the bathroom but only to try and track down Rachel and find out what the hold up was.

Not waning to get into an argument with one his students the teacher let Puck go, turning his attention back to the class, not wanting everyone to suffer because of one delinquent jock.

The angel and devil seemed to be playing out an argument in his head as the angel told him he was doing the right thing, that he had to follow his instincts that something was up, that Rachel Berry would never quit class without a good reason. Whilst the devil told him that she wasn't his problem, that he should just blame the lack of science project on her ignore his worries.

As he approached the toilet he was shocked to find her staggering out of the bathroom and towards the lockers.

"Fuck Berry, you look like crap," Puck observed, as he took in her pale face.

"I'm fine," Rachel lied, her voice catching on the words.

Puck took her by the hand and led her towards the empty auditorium where he sat her down in one the seats. "No you're not. You look like you've just had your first keg-stand."

"Don't drink," Rachel breathed as the room started to swim around her.

Not knowing what to do Puck looked around the room hoping that someone else would come in and take control of the situation. "Do you have your phone on you?"

"Phone?" Rachel questioned, her eyes closing as she tried to lift up her right hand finding that it didn't move the way she wanted it too.

Puck watched her right hand jerk slightly before falling to her side, the panic burning inside him as he tried to tell himself it was nothing, that she was just having one of her Diva fits. Even though deep inside he knew that wasn't true, that something was wrong with her.

As that realisation hit Puck wasn't sure what scared him the most, the fact that something was wrong with Rachel Berry, or the fact that the mere idea of something really serious being wrong with her pained him in a way he hadn't thought possible until now.

"Can you walk?" Puck asked, regretting bringing her into the isolation of the auditorium.

Standing up Rachel held on tightly to the chair in front of her, silently berating her body for not cooperating the way she wanted it too. As the pressure in her head began to build up again, causing her knees to buckle under her.

Jumping out of his seat Puck held her as she threw up all over herself and him. "Great," he muttered as he scooped her into his arms.

Looking down he was about to tell her that next time she needed to toss her cookies to do it away from him, but any angry words died on his lips as he took in the glazed, unfocused look in her eyes.

"Berry?" Puck asked, needing to hear her speak, that fact she had barely said two words to him was starting to terrify him, he had never known Rachel Berry be silent.

Rachel looked up at him, her mouth opening and closing as if she was trying to say something, but no sound came out.

Making his way towards the exit Puck carried her with ease, cradling her body close to him as he headed towards the nurses office, which is where she needed to be ten minutes ago.

He was at the top of the stairs when he almost collided with Mr. Schuester, as the teacher headed into the auditorium.

"Mr. Schuester," Puck stuttered.

Immediately Will Schuester's attention was drawn to the young girl in Puck's arms. "Rachel. What happened?" he asked looking up at the dazed boy.

"I don't know," Puck admitted. "I found her stumbling in the hallway like she was drunk and … but this is Berry and we all know that she's as straight as they come … then I realised something was up … she was acting weird and wasn't making sense, I mean I know she often doesn't make sense but this was different … then she threw up and … I was just taking her to the nurse."

"I'll follow you there," Mr. Schuester insisted as Puck continued his journey towards the nurses office.

Once inside the small office the nurse took one look at the young girl and demanded that she needed to see a doctor. After calling Rachel's parents it was decided that Mr. Schuester would take her to the hospital and her father would meet them there.

"Is she going to be alright?" Puck asked as he watched Mr. Schuester struggle to help Rachel to her feet, relieved to see that she appeared more lucid now.

As if she was noticing his presence for the first time Rachel frowned at the vomit that covered the front of his top. "Oh God did I do that?" she asked, obviously mortified.

"It's alright," Puck insisted, pleased none of his team-mates were around to see this.

Rachel covered her face with her hands. "How embarrassing."

"Just … get better soon Berry. We can't take Nationals without you," Puck smiled, his heart skipping a beat as she returned his smile, some of the colour returning to her cheeks.

And as he watched her walk towards the exit leaning heavily on Mr. Schuester a little voice inside his head told Puck that this was a day he would never forget.


	2. Chapter 2

It was two days later that Puck first realised he had real feelings for Rachel Berry, he had spent the whole night before, tossing and turning, unable to sleep as his concern for the small, brunette overrode his need for sleep.

"Morning," Puck mumbled, grabbing a piece of toast.

Puck's mother looked up from the nursing journal she was reading. "Morning."

"Do you still attend the same Temple as Rachel Berry?" Puck asked, as he sat down opposite her, talking through his mouthful.

"Yeah, in fact I went to a dinner party with her father's just last week, she's such a well mannered young lady," Diana smiled, as she remembered back to her brief conversation with the young High School student.

Puck nodded, swallowing down his mouthful. "Do you have their number?"

"Is everything alright?" Diana questioned, wondering what her son might want with the Berry's phone number. "You're not in trouble are you? Because if you need a lawyer-"

"A lawyer?" Puck interrupted.

Diana took a sip of coffee. "Eli Berry's is only one of the State's most well respected attorneys."

"Rachel's father is a lawyer?" Puck asked, suddenly aware how little he knew about her.

"Eli is yes, his partner, her other father is a doctor, quite a well respected surgeon if I remember rightly," Diana informed her son as she handed him a piece of paper with a phone number written on it.

Puck took the piece of paper from her. "I'm not in trouble, I just need to speak to Rachel about a science project, so I was hoping I could catch her during free period."

"Right," Diana smiled, a small smile tugging at the edge of her mouth, knowing that it would make her extremely proud if her son brought home a girl like Rachel Berry.

Making his way up to his bedroom, Puck grabbed the phone off the cradle on his way, dialling the number on the paper it took at least fifteen rings before anyone answered.

"Hello," a flustered voice greeted.

"Is Rachel home?" Puck asked.

Puck heard something being moved around and what sounded like a tap being run. "Who is this?"

"It's Pu … Noah. I er … I go to school with Berry, er Rachel I was just ringing to check that she was alright, I mean she didn't look that great the other day when Mr. Schue-"

"Noah yes, Rachel mentioned you, she was so mortified about what she called the vomit incident. I'm sure she would love to see you, I mean of you have the time to pop by the hosp-"

Puck felt his heart jump into his mouth. "Hospital? They kept her in?"

"Yes. Just to run a few tests, I'm sure it's nothing but Rachel's father, Richard, he insisted, it's true what they say about doctor's making the worst patients," Eli joked, trying not to let his own fear take control. Rachel was everything to him and Richard that the idea of something being wrong with her was not a truth he was willing to contemplate.

Already on his feet and looking for his truck keys Puck was halfway down the stairs. "Yes. Right. Listen I have to go. Tell Be … Tell Rachel I'll see her soon."

Hanging up the phone Puck was out of the door and into his truck, getting to school in under ten minutes. He even managed to make it through two hours of lessons before deciding to ditch the day.

He hadn't planned on going to the hospital, hadn't even realised that was the way he was going until he found himself in the familiar parking lot.

Entering the sterile halls of Lima General Hospital Puck felt strangely comfortable, after all he had pretty much grown up within these walls, waiting for his mother, hanging out in the staff-room, terrorising the nurses by hiding false fingers in the fridge and generally just causing chaos.

"Puckerman," a young, attractive, blonde receptionist smiled as he approached her.

"Lisa, hey," Puck smiled, flashing her his trademark Puckerman-smile.

Lisa returned the smile, her cheeks flushing slightly. "I didn't think your mother was on until tonight."

"She's not, I was wondering if you could help me, I'm looking for a friends from School, Rachel Berry, she was admitted yesterday," Puck explained, as he leaned on the desk.

"A friend?" Lisa asked her face dropping.

Puck shook his head, winking reassuringly at her. "Not that sort of friend, she's in the choir and is helping me with my extra credits. What sort of friend would I be if I didn't check on a friend in need eh?"

"She's on the seventh floor, room nine," Lisa informed him as she looked up the name on the computer.

"Thanks Doll," Puck grinned, heading towards the lift, frowning as he realised that the seventh floor was the neurological ward. Rachel might have been a crazy, singing chick but there was nothing wrong with her brain.

Reaching room number nine, Puck waited as Rachel's father exited followed closely by a doctor and a nurse, he waited until they were halfway down the corridor before slipping into the room.

"I told you all to leave," Rachel mumbled into the pillow, the IV pulling at her hand as she wrapped her arms around herself.

Puck could see her body shaking with silent tears beneath the thick hospital blanket. "Berry?"

"Go away," Rachel sniffed, not wanting anyone to see her cry.

"I just wanted to make sure you were alright after the other day," Puck admitted, his voice taking on a concerned tone that barely made it sound like his own. He was badass Noah Puckerman, he didn't do hearts and flowers.

Sitting up Rachel wiped at her eyes. "I'm fine."

"That's what you said then, right before you vomited all over me so excuse me if I don't believe you," Puck insisted.

"Why are you even here?" Rachel asked, not wanting any company.

Puck pulled a chair across the room and straddled it. "A girl tossing her cookies on me is like a first date for me. What sort of guy would I be if I didn't follow it up with a second date?"

Despite herself Rachel couldn't help but smile at his attempt at humour. "Sorry about that, I wasn't feeling myself."

"I noticed," Puck shrugged, looking down at the floor. "Is everything alright now?" he asked, taking one of the strawberries from her side and putting the whole thing in his mouth.

Rachel wasn't sure what it was about him but something made her feel compelled to tell the truth, there was just something about him that she trusted, it was like he made her feel safe. "They found something," she admitted in a small voice.

"What sort of something?" Puck asked, dropping the second strawberry to the floor.

"On the scan they er … they found a mass in my brain, it's probably can … a brain tumour but they won't know for sure until the biopsy but apparently it's in a difficult position and-"

Puck didn't know what to say, he wasn't prepared for situations like this. "It could be nothing."

"It's not nothing, that much they know, they just don't know how treatable it is yet," Rachel cried, burying her face into her hands.

"I'm sorry," Puck apologized, he hadn't meant to make her cry.

Closing her eyes Rachel allowed him to comfort her. "So am I."

"What does it feel like? I mean can you feel it?" Puck asked, suddenly forgetting his tact.

Pleased that someone wasn't tiptoeing around her Rachel smiled. "No. Mainly my head just feels heavy, and sometimes I can't do stuff, I mean I think my hand is in the right place but it isn't."

"Like with the cup yesterday?" Puck asked.

"Yeah, like that," Rachel breathed.

Instinctively without even thinking about it Puck stood up from the chair and sat on the bed next to her. "So basically it feels like you're drunk all of the time?"

"I wouldn't know, I've never been drunk," Rachel chuckled, something about being with him felt comfortable. "And perhaps now I never will. And what if I never get to Broadway or get nominated for a Ton-"

It was like it happened in slow motion as Puck wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "You can't think like that."

"But it's true," Rachel stuttered, her voice barely holding out.

"Sorry it's not going to happen," Puck insisted, as if just saying it made it true. "I mean we don't stand a chance of winning Nationals without you so it would be a bit selfish of you to just give up don't you think?"

Taking a deep breath Rachel was grateful for his presence, at a time when everyone else was tiptoeing around her for fear of upsetting her, he was exactly what she needed, as she faced the difficult road that lie ahead.

As she closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax in his arms Rachel realised that even though her future was uncertain something about being here in his arms felt right.


	3. Chapter 3

This chapter ended up being twice as long as the first two but I didn't want to split it. I know things may seem a little OOC in places but trying to put teenage Puck and Rachel in a situation that they've never been in before was hard.

3.

Sitting in the large, oversized hospital chair Rachel hugged her knees to her chest. Opposite her, her father's sat huddled together as they both faced their daughter.

"Star-"

"Please just take me home," Rachel pleaded, her voice nothing more than a heartbroken whisper as she looked down at the floor, purposefully avoiding making eye contact with them.

Standing up Richard Berry pulled his chair across the floor so that he was sat just inches in front of her. "Rachel. Honey. I know things may seem impossible right now but I've done the research and New York is where you need to be."

"My life is just one big ironic joke," Rachel laughed bitterly.

"Rach-"

"Ever since I was four-years-old I've dreamed of going to New York and living my life on Broadway. From the very first time I saw my first Broadway musical I knew that was where I wanted to be. Now you want me to go there to die?" Rachel asked sadly.

Richard shook his head. "We don't know that Rach. This study has had very positive results, people are surviving years longer than anyone ever thought they would."

"I don't just want years, I want my life back," Rachel cried.

Moving so that he was sat the opposite side of his daughter Eli Berry took her hands in his. "I know it's a lot to take in but if anyone can beat the odds, you can."

"Take me home. Please," Rachel cried, picking up her bag and holding it close to her.

Richard and Eli looked at each other, silently coming to an understanding. They knew that she needed to do this, that Rachel needed to feel like she was in some control of the situation.

"Ok," Eli agreed. "We'll go home."

Rachel nodded, her eyes bright with tears. "Yes. Home."

"Have you got everything?" Richard asked, as he rested his hand on the small of her back, trying to provide as much comfort as he could.

Without saying a word Rachel followed her fathers out of the hospital and towards the car, climbing into the backseat she closed her eyes and rested her head against the cool, window of the car.

The familiar Lima scenery passed her by in a blur as Rachel could think of nothing but the diagnosis that had been handed to her. As phrases that just hours ago would have meant nothing to her suddenly meant everything to her.

Malignant, high-grade, aggressive, glioblastoma multiforme, stage four, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, brain surgery, clinical trials.

A whole new dictionary had been opened up to Rachel and it terrified her. Her life had suddenly been sent into a tailspin and she didn't know how to deal with it. Usually when she was stressed she would practise the dream waltz from West Side Story, or sing a song from Les Miserable. But singing and dancing felt like the last thing Rachel wanted to do, right now she just wanted to curl up in her own bed and cry.

"Rach, Rachel," Eli gently called as he stroked his sleeping daughter's face.

Slowly Rachel opened her eyes to find that the car had come to a stop and was now parked outside her house. "How long have I been asleep for?"

"Just a few minutes," Eli whispered as he stroked her hair back from her face.

Taking a deep breath Rachel sat up, swinging her legs out of the car she made her way inside the house. She could hear her father's talking to her, offering her food, drink, asking if she wanted to watch a movie or listen to music.

Rachel knew they were just trying to help, to do anything they could to help her come to terms with the diagnosis but right now she just wanted to be left alone.

Heading straight up to her room Rachel closed the door behind her, kicked her shoes off and curled up under her duvet, trying to forget that the last week had ever happened.

Standing at the bottom of the stairs a tearful Eli turned towards his husband. "She's shutting down on us."

"Just give her time, it's a lot to take in," Richard reminded his husband as he led him into the study.

Eli didn't want to have to face the reality that Rachel could die before him but he couldn't help but fear the worst at the moment. "But she doesn't have time, that's why we need to take her to New York."

"She'll come around, Rachel is an intelligent girl, she knows this is her best option she's just angry and confused at the moment," Richard explained.

"I wish it was me instead," Eli whispered.

Richard nodded as he leaned against his husband, knowing that they would need to be strong for each other, and for their little-girl over the coming weeks, months and hopefully years. "I would give anything for it to be me. But it's not. So we just need to be there for her, with whatever she needs as soon as she's ready to let us in."

"What are we going to do if we lose her Rich?" Eli asked, his voice heavy with grief.

"That's not going to happen," Richard insisted.

Biting his bottom lip Eli looked at the wall opposite which was lined with pictures of Rachel. "You heard what the neuro-oncologist said, you're a doctor, you know what it means."

"Maybe so but I also know our daughter and Rachel is going to beat this, she's going to be that one-in-million just like she always has been," Richard whispered, closing his eyes and allowing his body to relax as he tried to mentally prepare himself for the challenge that faced his family.

GLEE - GLEE - GLEE

Standing in front of the full length mirror Rachel pulled her hair back above her ear to show the small bald patch that had been left by the biopsy. Letting her hair fall back down she pulled her red alice band on being sure that no one could see it. Taking a step back she looked at her outfit in the mirror. She was wearing a pleated navy skirt, white knee high socks and a red fitted top with blue anchors on it.

Plastering on a fake smile she reassured herself that nothing looked any different, not that Rachel had anyone that would actually care to notice, if they did look close enough they would see the carefully hidden signs; the small patch of hair that was missing behind her right ear, the dark circles carefully concealed under her eyes, the bruise that had been left by a cannula and the way her hands shook with fear and anger at the hand she had been dealt.

Swinging her bag over her shoulder Rachel headed downstairs, looking towards the study she was pleased to find it empty as she took her keys from the side and headed towards the front door.

"Rachel. Honey, where are you going?" Richard as he approached his daughter.

"School," Rachel replied, as if the answer should have been obvious.

Richard took in his daughter's steely determination and knew that she needed him to support her on this, and not fight her decision. "Ok. But let me drive you, please?"

"Ok," Rachel agreed, putting her keys back down and waiting while her dad found his keys and pulled on some shoes.

"Have you had any breakfast yet?" Richard asked, not knowing what to say or do.

Looking out of the passenger's side window Rachel slowly shook her head. "No. I'll get something at school."

The rest of the journey passed in silence with Richard not knowing what to say, instead he did the only thing he could think of as he took his daughter's much smaller hand in his, silently letting her know that he was there for her. No matter what.

"Abba or I will pick you up after school," Richard smiled, softly.

Wincing against the bright sunlight Rachel sat perfectly still, almost as if she had forgotten how to get out of the car. "Ok, I'll ring you when I finish."

"Ring me anytime, even if it's ten minutes into the day," Richard told her as she reached into his bag and pulled out two small bottles of pills.

"What are these?" Rachel frowned.

When she didn't take them from him Richard dropped them into her lap. "The white bottle is painkillers and the brown one is an anti-sickness medicine, it's the same medicine that they were giving you at the hospital to help with the symptoms of the … of-"

"Daddy you're a doctor, you can say brain tumour," Rachel smiled sadly at her father.

"I may be a doctor but you're my baby-girl and nothing about this will ever be easy," Richard replied, tightening his hold on her hand.

Rachel picked the bottles up from her lap and put them in her bag. "I feel good. But I'll keep these with me just in case. Thank-you."

"If you need anything, anything at all we're just a phone call away," Richard assured his daughter as he watched her climb out of the car and head slowly into the school. A part of him wanted nothing more than to sit there all day, so that he was just seconds away if she needed him. But he knew that he needed to give her space, to let her deal with everything in her own way.

So it was with a heavy heart that he reversed out of the car-park and headed home, to a house that for the first time in nearly sixteen years was void of music and laughter.

Meanwhile back inside the school Rachel slowly opened her locker, her fingers struggling with the lock as she tried to remember her code.

"Berry?" Puck shouted, surprised to find her at school.

Finally getting her locker open Rachel threw what she didn't need inside and took her pink English folder out. "I have class," Rachel muttered, not wanting to answer the many questions she knew he would have.

"English right?" Puck asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yes."

"Me too," Puck smiled as he followed her towards the English class and sat down at the desk directly next to hers.

Any interrogation Puck might have had planned was cut short by the teacher and the rest of the students arriving. Rachel ignored the staged whispers about where she had been the last week and instead concentrated on opening her book to the right page.

Most of the lesson passed without event as Rachel continued to ignore her surroundings and concentrated only on what the teacher was saying. It wasn't until just a few seconds before the bell rang that Rachel started to struggle, unable to hold her pen she had dropped it to the floor as her vision started swimming and head pounding.

Leaning down Puck picked her pen up for her, handing it to her he immediately noticed the strained look on her face. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Rachel lied.

"Hi," Santana whispered, wrapping her arms around Puck as the rest of the class started to file out.

Watching as Rachel shut her folder Puck reluctantly turned his attention to Santana. "Not now."

"Mr. Schuester has scheduled an extra Glee club practice during the free period, you want to skip it with me?" Santana asked, her voice taking on a seductive tone.

Ignoring her Puck ran after Rachel who was already halfway down the hallway, leaving behind a jealous and confused Santana.

"Berry," Puck called after her, running to catch up with her.

Rachel threw her folder into her locker before pulling out her small over the shoulder bag and heading into the still empty choir room. Sitting down on one of the empty chairs she held her head in her hands, trying to will her headache away, she didn't want to have to take any medication right now, she wanted a clear head.

Sitting down next to her Puck waited for her to say something, when she didn't he shook his head and waited for her to look up. He waited five minutes before finally giving in and breaking the silence. "I didn't expect to see you back at school yet."

"I needed to get out of the house, my father's are driving me crazy with their need to wrap me up in cotton wool," Rachel sighed.

Puck nodded. "They're just worried. So am I."

"I thought badass Noah Puckerman didn't worry," Rachel tried to joke.

"Well when a girl tosses her cookies on me and then tells me she has a tumour in her head it's enough to worry even a badass like me," Noah replied.

Lifting up her head Rachel turned to look at him. "I shouldn't have burdened you with my problems. I apologise."

"You obviously needed to talk to someone," Puck shrugged.

"Well it's not exactly like I have friends knocking down my door, I mean I've been off for a week and the only person who cared enough to enquire after my well-being was you, and even then it was only because I was sick on you," Rachel reminded him.

A park of Puck knew she was right but a part of him was desperate to reach out to her, one Jew to another. "I care about you Berry. And not just because you tossed you're cookies all over me."

"Why?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know," Puck admitted. "You seem to get under my skin," he laughed, watching as she winced at the loud noises that filled the room as the rest of the Glee club made their way inside.

Mr. Schuester spotted the brunette Diva sat back in the front row for the first time in a week and smiled. "Welcome back Rachel."

"Thanks Mr. Schue," Rachel replied, plastering on a false smile and facing the front.

"Hope you're feeling better," Mr. Schuester smiled, like everyone else at the school he had been told that Rachel had been off school with a bad case of the flu. The only person who knew otherwise was Puck.

Rachel nodded. "Much better. Thank-you."

"This week we're going to be deciding on our opening number for Nationals, I want everyone to submit a song and then we can vote on them. It needs to be a group number, one that we can all take lead on," Mr. Schuester explained.

Rachel could hear Mr. Schuester speaking but she couldn't make out what he was saying, his words were all mixed together as the pain in her head intensified and the nausea returned with a vengeance. She had been able to hide her discomfort until Kurt and Mercedes got up to sing a duet they had been working on.

As the song reached it's climax and Kurt reached the High-F she found herself unable to stand the noise any longer, lost in a world of pain and confusion she brought her hands up to her ears to try and block out the noises.

"Hell to the no," Mercedes screeched. "You did not just do that, you did not just cover your ears in a blatant diss to our singing."

Shakily Rachel took her hands down. "I … I didn't mean that it's just … the noise …"

"Noise?" Kurt shouted. "We all have to put up with you and now you're calling our singing noise?"

"I didn't mean your singing," Rachel explained, struggling to talk as everyone's faces and voices began to swim around her.

Jumping to his feet Puck stood in front of Rachel, protecting her from the angry glares of Kurt and Mercedes. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you guys blind as well as stupid, can't you see she's sick?"

"Noah. No," Rachel pleaded, shakily getting to her feet she instinctively held onto him for support.

"I know all of you are so wrapped up in your own drama that you rarely see what's in front of you but Berry wasn't bitching out your singing," Puck insisted as he felt Rachel stumble next to him.

Everyone seemed to shut up, stunned that Puck of all people had jumped in to defend Rachel. Kurt was about to say something when he was cut off by Mr. Schuester.

"Rachel are you alright?" he asked, he didn't think it was possible for her to look any worse than she had last week but as he took in her pale, clammy and shaking form he actually felt fear.

Rachel shook her head. "I think I probably came back to school too soon," she half-lied, not wanting to draw any more attention to herself. "I'm sorry I interrupted, the song was good, really good. I er … home."

"I'll take you," Puck offered as he tightened his hold on her and led her out towards the truck, once she was safely in the passenger's seat he shut his door and turned to face her. "Now don't try and tell me you're fine. It's true what they say; you can't kid a kidder."

With shaking hands Rachel reached into her bag and pulled out the two bottles of tablets. Opening one she placed two pills in her hand, before taking two pills from the other bottle too. Looking at the four pills in her hand Rachel tried to stop the tears from falling as she realised that this was going to be her life now.

Silently Puck reached into his glove box and pulled out a bottle of water. "It's warm, but it will do the job."

"Thanks," Rachel smiled as she swallowed the four tablets.

"So did they find out what that thing in your brain is yet?" Puck asked, watching as she tiredly leaned her head against the back of the car seat.

Rachel looked out of the window. "It's a brain tumour. Highly malignant and very aggressive. I have about six months to live without treatment and not much longer with. It's one of the most untreatable forms of cancer."

"And you're just going to lay back and accept that?" Puck asked. "Well that's not the Rachel Berry I know, the Rachel Berry I know doesn't let anyone push her around."

"The treatment would mean high risk brain surgery, chemotherapy and radiation therapy and even then it would only make my life longer, it wouldn't give me back my dreams," Rachel cried.

Puck shook his head, he was no good in situations like this, he didn't know the right thing to say or what she needed to hear. "There has to be a chance."

"A hospital in New York is running a trial, it's gamma knife brain surgery to remove the majority of the tumour, then an experimental combination of radiation therapy and oral chemotherapy," Rachel explained.

"So why aren't you there?" Puck asked, dreading the answer.

Closing her eyes Rachel felt her muscles finally begin to relax as the painkillers kicked in. "I don't want to lose who I am. The treatment could take everything away from me."

"And so could the brain tumour," Puck argued.

"Maybe so but on my terms," Rachel countered.

Puck leaned back against his chair. "When I was a kid my Mom used to work on the oncology ward. When the babysitter had to leave early I would hang around in the playroom. I met this kid there, Mark. He was nine, same age as me and he had been fighting brain cancer for five years, the doctors had told his parents he had six months, his determination gave him those extra years."

"Where is he now?" Rachel asked.

"He died when he was eleven," Puck whispered.

Rachel opened her eyes and wiped tiredly at her tears. "It still won in the end though."

"But he had all of that extra time, just think what new treatments they could come up with in five years?" Puck pointed out.

"When did you become a motivational speaker?" Rachel asked.

Puck looked to her, slowly he reached out his hand and wiped away a lone tear that she had missed. "I'm not. I just don't want you to give up."

"Please just take me home," Rachel asked, closing her eyes, too tired to keep them open.

Puck nodded. "Sure. But just promise me you'll think about what I said."

"I promise," Rachel assured him with a tired small as she allowed herself to fall asleep and dream of a time where cancer didn't exist and Broadway was still a believable dream.


	4. Chapter 4

I have a really hectic week of work, job interview preparation and an APLS course coming up so there might not be an update to either of my stories this week. But I will try my hardest. Thanks for all the amazing reviews, this is a story very close to my heart so the reviews make me a happy writer.

4.

Sitting at her dresser Rachel ran her hairbrush slowly through her hair, it had been two days since her attempt to get back to some sort of normalcy had failed, and she'd ended up being driven home by Puck. But here she was, two days later preparing for school again, trying to ignore the horrible truth and just be a normal sixteen year old whose dreams still remained intact.

"Rachel," Richard Berry gently called out as he entered his daughter's room.

Smiling softly Rachel looked up from the mirror, placing her hairbrush in her lap she waited for her father to sit down next to her. Rachel knew how much her father's loved and respected her by the fact they hadn't pushed her into making a decision about her treatment. She knew that they were desperate for her to agree to go to New York, just like she knew that time wasn't on her side.

But right now, in this very moment all she wanted to do was go to school and be normal, and if that meant getting a slushy facial then so be it.

"Morning Daddy," Rachel smiled.

"How are you feeling?" Richard asked, desperate for her to let him in.

Playing with the hairbrush in her hands Rachel nodded. "Better. I feel almost normal today."

"You don't have to go to school if you don't want to," Richard insisted. "Nobody expects you to be there, not with everything that is going on."

"We're choosing the songs for Nationals today Daddy, I've worked hard for this, I need to be there, I need to put my selection forward," Rachel smiled.

Richard nodded. "I have back-to-back surgeries scheduled for today, but Abba is working from home so if you need anything he's just a phone call way."

"I love you," Rachel whispered, dropping her hairbrush to the floor as she leaned across and wrapped her arms around her father.

"I love you more than anything in this world Baby-Girl," Richard whispered, as he ran his hand through her hair.

Standing up Rachel smoothed down her skirt. "I know Daddy."

"Have you got your medication?" Richard asked.

Walking over to her dresser Rachel picked up a small make-up bag. "Got it right here."

"Don't be scared to take it Star, it's to help you," Richard reminded her.

Kissing her father Rachel whispered in his ear. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need luck, you've got talent," Richard smiled as he watched his daughter grab her bag from the chair and practically skip out of the room.

He knew what she was trying to do, how she was trying to forget about the shattering diagnosis that had been handed her. And as much as it warmed his heart to see her smiling and to hear her singing again the doctor in him knew it wouldn't last, that sooner or later she would have to face the reality of her situation and make a decision.

Stepping outside her front door Rachel looked down at her phone as a text message appeared on the screen. "Need a lift?"

Smiling Rachel sent back one word. "Please."

In less than two minutes Puck was at the end of her drive in his truck, smiling Rachel climbed up into the passenger seat.

"How did you know I was coming back to school today?" Rachel asked.

"One of your dad's might have called me," Puck sheepishly admitted.

Rachel couldn't help but laugh. "So badass Noah Puckerman has been assigned as my babysitter, what did you do to deserve that job?"

"I guess I sort of offered, when I brought you home the other day," Puck explained.

"I don't need a babysitter," Rachel insisted.

Puck nodded. "I know. But sometimes everybody just needs somebody."

"Maybe," Rachel sighed as she watched the familiar scenery pass them by, until they reached the school parking lot.

"So what song did you choose?" Puck asked as they entered the school.

Turning on her heels Rachel smiled at him, and it wasn't until he saw her smile properly, a real smile that reached her eyes that he realised how much he had missed it.

Winking at him Rachel took her folder from her locker before heading towards class. "You'll just have to wait and see," she chuckled as she headed into the classroom.

Laughing to himself Puck shook his head as he stood outside the classroom and watched as she took a large fluffy pink pen out of her bag. Satisfied that she was alright Puck made his way towards his own class, the small brunette never far from his thoughts. The day seemed to pass slowly for Puck and as lunchtime finally came around he tried to hide his relief at seeing her again, at seeing that she looked as happy and relaxed as she had been this morning.

"Hey," Puck smiled, placing his tray down on the table and sitting next to her.

Rachel looked up from her untouched dinner. "Hey."

"You not hungry?" Puck asked.

"Not really," Rachel admitted. "At least not for this anyway," she laughed as she looked down at the pasta dish on her tray.

Puck nodded. "What are you hungry for then?"

"One of those salad boxes from the Whole Foods market," Rachel replied, licking at her lips.

Puck looked up at the clock on the wall. "We've still got forty minutes left of lunch, we could easily make it there and back before next period."

"Really?" Rachel asked, her face lighting up.

"Really," Puck agreed as he loaded her tray on top of his, clearing them both away he waited for her to gather up her bag before they both headed out towards his truck.

The ten minute drive seemed to pass too quickly for Puck as he would have happily driven for hours, listening as Rachel hummed along happily to the radio, seemingly without a care in the world.

"What?" Rachel asked getting out of the truck as she realised he was staring.

Puck shook his head. "Nothing."

"You were staring," Rachel pointed out, shivering as she walked into the air conditioned store.

"It's just it's nice to hear you singing again," Puck finally admitted.

Taking one of the empty food containers Rachel began to fill it with a selection of her favourite foods. "I was humming," she laughed, shutting the box as she made her way towards the checkout.

"Whatever it was, I liked it," Puck said as they paid for the salad and headed back out towards his truck.

Reaching into her bag Rachel pulled out the three bottles of pills that her father had insisted she carry everywhere with her. Opening the glove compartment she took out the bottle of water he seemed to keep there.

"Everything alright?" Puck asked.

Swallowing the pills Rachel nodded. "And I want it to stay that way, I need to be on top form for Glee," she explained, putting the bottles back in her make-up bag.

Turning on the CD player Rachel smiled as the familiar chords of Green Day's classic hit Good Riddance filled the truck. Smiling she softly sung along to the lyrics, her feet resting on the dash board as she felt herself relax as the music and medication washed over her.

"I didn't know you were a Green Day fan," Puck grinned as they pulled to a stop at a red light.

Rachel nodded, her eyes still closed as she listened to the music. "I think everyone has a Green Day fan inside of them."

"Favourite album?" Puck asked.

Biting her bottom lip Rachel seemed to ponder this question seriously before answering. "I'll always have a soft spot for Dookie but there's no denying all of them are impressive."

"Favourite song?" Puck asked, as he realised just how right all of this felt, he had never felt as comfortable with a girl as he did in this moment; sat in his truck with Rachel Berry talking about Green Day.

As they pulled up outside of the school Rachel ejected the CD from the player. "Can I borrow this?"

"Sure?" Puck nodded as he helped her out of the truck. "Need an escort to the next period?"

Rachel shook her head. "I have a free period so I'm going to head to the library and catch up on some of the work I've missed out on."

"So I'll see you in Glee?" Puck questioned.

Smiling Rachel nodded. "I'll be there with bells on."

"Still not going to tell what song you're choosing?" Noah asked, as he watched her eyes dance with amusement.

Laughing softly Rachel shook her head. "Sorry. No preview. But Noah … thank-you, for today, for everything."

"You're welcome Berry," Puck nodded, almost giving a bow as he watched her leave and head towards the library, a part of him wanted to go after her, ask her to skip school and find somewhere to just lie and listen to Green Day with him, but the other part of him, the suddenly sensible part of him knew that Rachel just needed to be as normal as possible.

GLEE - GLEE - GLEE

Entering the choir room Puck realised that he was the first person there, frowning he sat down in the front row, another unusual step for him. Turning his chair slightly he found himself watching the door, waiting for the small diva.

"Puck?" Quinn called out sitting down next to him.

Puck turned to face the woman carrying his child. "Everything alright?"

"I rang the house looking for you this morning, Mercedes car broke down and I needed a lift but your mother said you had already left," Quinn informed him.

"Yeah I had stuff to do," Puck shrugged.

Quinn couldn't help but notice the way his eyes kept shifting towards the door. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine. You alright?" Puck asked, his eyes resting on her swollen stomach.

"Not long to go now," Quinn smiled, a small bittersweet smile.

Puck nodded. "So what song are you submitting for Nationals?" he asked, moving the subject into something light and non threatening to all of them.

"Mercedes and I have been working on something together," Quinn replied, as the person in question walked in, beckoning Quinn over to her.

"Better go, last minute team talks are needed," Quinn explained as she headed over to the corner where Mercedes sat, pulling sheet music out of her bag.

Leaning back in his chair Puck watched as the Glee club members started to filter in, soon eleven of the twelve members were sat in their usual seats as Mr. Schuester started writing the word 'Nationals' on the board in large letters.

Frowning Puck glanced up at the clock, Rachel was already ten minutes late, he was about to make his excuses and head out to look for her when she practically skipped through the door, dragging her wheelie bag behind her as she sat down in the empty seat next to Puck.

"Sorry I'm late," Rachel apologised, flashing Puck a smile before turning her attention towards Mr. Schuester.

Mr. Schuester nodded, dismissing her apology as unneeded. As the young girls late appearance seemed to give everyone the right to whisper between them about her recent absence and strange behaviour.

Puck could see that Rachel was starting to get uncomfortable with the speculation, he was about to threaten them all into silence when Mr. Schuester beat him to it, shushing everyone as he reminded them that they had a lot of work to get through today.

"So I hope everyone has their submissions ready," Mr. Schuester smiled as he pointed to the writing on the board.

Excited whispers rippled across the students as Puck's eyes stayed firmly trained on Rachel, something that wasn't lost on a jealous Santana and confused Quinn.

As Puck ran a questioning eye over her he could see that she looked tired, but relaxed at the same time. "You're staring again," she whispered in his direction.

"No I'm not, I'm just checking everything is in order," Puck winked, not wanting to completely lose his badass image, but something about Rachel Berry turned him into a teddy bear.

"So who would like to submit an idea first?" Mr. Schuester asked as he faced his students.

Twelve heads turned to face Rachel all of them expecting her to be the first off the block, instead Rachel shook her head slowly. "I'm not quite ready yet."

"Anyone else ready?" Mr. Schuester asked, not wanting to draw anymore attention to the young starlet. It was obvious to him that there was something going on with the young girl, something that she clearly wasn't ready to share yet.

Standing up Kurt handed the piano man some sheet music before taking centre stage in the choir room. "I've chosen a song that I think will show all of our voices off. I'm going to sing it as a solo now but the arrangement I have planned will blow the judges out of the water. It includes Ms Rachel Berry belting on the last note."

The music started as the familiar opening chords of Seasons of Love from Rent filled the room as Kurt made his way seamlessly through the verses.

"Very nice," Mr. Schuester smiled as the rest of the group applauded.

Curtsying before the group Kurt tipped his hat at them. "I think everyone else should just admit defeat now," he exclaimed with a satisfied smile as he took his seat.

Next up Quinn and Mercedes performed their choice for Nationals which was The Beatles, A Little Help From My Friends arranged in an almost theatrical manner. As they finished Mercedes turned to Kurt and made a pistol with her fingers before blowing the imaginary smoke away.

"Excellent Girls," Mr. Schuester smiled, pleased that everyone was getting so involved.

As Quinn and Mercedes took their seats Tina and Artie were the next to take to the floor. "We decided on something a little different," Tina smiled.

"Let's hear it then," Mr. Schuester encouraged as he sat down on his stool.

The Circle of Life from The Lion King filled the room as Artie and Tina flawlessly performed the Disney classic complete with some show-stopping dance moves from Tina.

"Another well thought out choice," Mr. Schuester told them as Finn, Brittany, Mike, Matt and Santana took to the floor.

"We've decided on something a little more modern," Santana smirked.

Nodding Mr. Schuester motioned for them to begin as the group stared to sing The Killers, All These Things That I've Done with Santana and Finn taking the lead vocals whilst Brittany, Mike and Matt put on an impressive dance performance as they carried the backing vocals.

"Interesting choice and an excellent arrangement," Mr. Schuester proudly smiled as he watched them take their seats as everyone congratulated them on a job well done.

From her seat in the front row Rachel couldn't help but agree with Mr. Schuesters's comments, everyone had obviously put a lot of work into the choices they had made and there was already four excellent songs to chose from. Perhaps there was no need for hers, and perhaps it would be selfish of her to submit a choice when she didn't even know if she would be singing at Nationals.

"Rachel?" Mr. Schuester called, breaking her free from her thoughts.

Shaking her head Rachel looked up. "Can I have a minute?"

"Diva," Kurt coughed.

Puck turned to glare at the young boy soprano, making sure that any other comment Kurt might have been about to make died on his lips.

"Down boy," Santana growled. "Since when did you become Stubbles very own guard dog?" she asked her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ignoring the comments and staged whispers Puck turned to Rachel who was staring down at the floor. "You alright?"

"Fine," Rachel assured him as she took his hand and led him across to the piano where she handed him some sheet music. "I just need your help," she smiled as she pointed out the parts she wanted him to take the lead on before signalling to Brad that they were ready.

Looking down at the music in his hands Puck couldn't help but smile at her choice in songs, it was obvious that she had changed it at the last minute after the conversation in his truck this morning.

Taking to the floor Puck closed his eyes, lost in the moment as the familiar opening chords of Green Day's 21 Guns filled the room. Opening his eyes he started to sing. "Do you know whats worth fighting for? When it's not worth dying for? Does it take your breath away? When you feel yourself suffocating."

The significance of the words wasn't lost on him as he turned to Rachel, his voice catching slightly on the lyrics as he continued to sing. "Does the pain weigh out the pride? And you look for a place to hide? Did someone break your heart inside? Your in ruins."

"One, twenty one guns, lay down your arms, give up the fight. One, twenty one guns. through up your arms into the sky. You and I," Puck continued, his eyes never leaving Rachel.

As the melody changed the chords morphed into those of another familiar Green Day song as Rachel started to sing. Her voice soft and uncertain like he had never heard it before as she sung the familiar lyrics to Are We The Waiting, Puck's favourite Green Day song.

"Starry nights, city lights coming down over me, skyscrapers and stargazers in my head. Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown. This dirty town is burning down in my dreams. Lost and found city bound in my dreams."

Turning to Puck she motioned for him to join her on the next part as their voices started to join together in a perfect harmony.

"And screaming, are we we are, are we we are the waiting. And screaming, are we we are, are we we are the waiting."

Puck was silent once again letting Rachel sing by herself as her gentle voice filled the room, with a haunting beauty that gave him chills. "Forget me nots and second thoughts live in isolation. Heads or tails, fairytales in my mind. Are we we are, are we we are the waiting unknown. Rage or love story of life, the Jesus of Suburbia is a lie."

As the melody changed once again Puck's voice joined hers as her voice seemed to gain power and strength as they finished with one of Green Day's most recognisable songs, Good Riddance.

"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go, so make the best of this test, and don't ask why, it's not a question, but a lesson learned in time."

Puck could feel the tears starting to build in his eyes as they reached the next part of the song, both voices still in perfect harmony despite the emotions raging within both of them, "It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life."

"So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind, hang it on a shelf in good health and good time, tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial, for what it's worth it was worth all the while," Rachel turned to face Puck as they reached the final part of the song.

As he listened to her sing he could see in her eyes that she wasn't ready to die, that she still had so much left to live for. But he could also see that the prospect of fighting and losing terrified her, so much so that blocking everything out seemed like the only option at the moment, at least the only one that would let her get out of bed and keep breathing each morning.

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life," they sang both their voices breaking.

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life," the words repeated as Rachel felt the familiar pressure starting to build behind her eyes. Unable to finish the final part of the song Rachel grabbed her stuff and ran, leaving Puck to finish by himself as the Glee club sat rooted to their seats, unable to stop watching but at the same time feeling as if they were intruding on a private moment between Puck and Rachel.

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life," Puck finished as the music came to an end and he watched Rachel flee towards the girls bathroom.

Sitting back into his seats Puck ignored everyone's mutters of shock and amazement as Mr. Schuester tried to bring some order back to the group. Sitting in the seat departed by the brunette Santana knelt down and picked up a small make-up bag that the young diva had dropped in her haste to leave.

Opening the bag she felt her heart jump into her mouth as she read the familiar names on the bottles, clutching the bag to her chest she followed the path just taken by the brunette. Entering the girls bathroom she wasn't at all shocked to hear someone retching forcefully in the end stall, pushing the door open she watched as Rachel struggled to make it to the toilet whilst also searching frantically for something in her bag.

"Looking for this?" Santana asked.

Rachel looked up at the bullying Cheerio and nodded. "Yes."

"You left it in Glee club," Santana shrugged as she sat down next to Rachel and handed her the bag.

With shaking hands Rachel struggled to open the pill bottles as Santana wordlessly took them from her and poured all the required tablets into one of the lids before taking some water out of Rachel's bag and handing it to the shaking brunette.

"Thanks," Rachel stammered,

"It's no problem," Santana replied, her voice full of something that Rachel had never heard from the Cheerio before; sympathy and compassion.

Swallowing the pills Rachel tiredly leaned her head against the wall of the bathroom. "You can leave now," she whispered, not wanting anyone to see her like this.

Santana looked down at the pill bottles in her hand. "Dexamethasone is a steroid, used in the treatment of many things but one of the main uses for it is that it can control the symptoms of a brain tumour, Zofran is a powerful anti-emetic and Oxycodone is one hell of a pain killer, which-"

"Don't," Rachel pleaded, not wanting the cheerleader to finish that thought.

"That's a powerful cocktail of medication, I'm going to make a wild guess and say brain tumour?" Santana concluded, ignoring Rachel's pleas, her heart constricting at the words that left her mouth.

Holding her head in her hands Rachel didn't say anything, instead she just waited for the meds to kick in so that she could get out of there as soon as possible.

"I'll take that as a yes, I'm also guessing you haven't started treatment yet, because as shitty as you look you don't look anywhere near as bad as someone that's had brain surgery, chemotherapy or radiation therapy," Santana pointed out.

"How did you-"

When the brunette didn't finish Santana finished the thought for her. "How did I know?"

"Yes," Rachel stammered, her eyes still closed.

"I can't believe I'm sat on the floor of the girl's bathroom sharing this with you of all people," Santana laughed bitterly. "But I had a twin brother, Amaury was my favourite person in the whole world, he kept me grounded and he made me smile. Then when we were twelve years old he was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour. Month by month this invisible evil took my brother from me, until he couldn't even feed himself. Six months later we were lying in his bed listening to the basketball commentary when it took him from me completely," Santana told her, trying not to cry.

Rachel looked up at the girl that had tormented her for so long, suddenly seeing her in a different light. "I'm sorry."

"I recognised the meds because I used to help Amaury with his," Santana explained, her voice barely above a whisper.

Closing her eyes Rachel nodded. "I was diagnosed nearly a week ago, my dads are pushing me to be part of some clinical trial in New York but I don't see the point, there's no cure so it's going to kill me either way."

"Maybe they need you to do this, so that when the end comes they can say they did everything they could for you," Santana suggested.

"I-"

"Because when you're dead, you're dead, none of it's going to matter to you, but it will matter to them, they will be the ones left behind and if they can't at least tell themselves that they did everything they could for you, then there will be no coming back from that for them," Santana added as she stood up.

Rachel nodded, wanting to ask Santana how she knew that but there were certain things that you didn't ask your one time enemy whilst sat on the girls bathroom floor. "Thank-you."

"I take it Puck knows?" Santana guessed.

Rachel nodded. "I threw up on him."

"I should go and let him in, I can hear him pacing outside like a caged lion," Santana smirked as she handed Rachel the bag of pills.

"That doesn't surprise me, he's been very protective ever since," Rachel smiled as she pulled herself to her feet.

Nodding Santana helped the other girl tidy herself up before heading towards the door to let Puck in. Before unlocking it she turned towards Rachel one last time. "And if you ever tell anyone anything that happened in here I will deny it and then spread malicious rumours about you and Jacob Ben-Israel," she warned.

"Noted," Rachel smiled, as she watched the Latino cheerleader open the door and let a flustered looking Puck in she couldn't think about anything other than what Santana had said, about her fathers needing to try everything they could.

A part of her knew that it made sense, ever since she was born they had done everything in their power to make sure she was happy and loved, so perhaps she needed to do this, perhaps she needed to make sure that she tried every available treatment so that when the end came there would be no 'what ifs' to torment those that she left behind. Because after speaking to Santana she knew one thing for sure, she never wanted to see that same haunted look in her father's eyes that she had seen in the Cheerios.


	5. Chapter 5

5.

Looking up at the small brick house in front of him Eli Berry took a deep breath before he started down the path. When he had left the house to pick up some groceries he hadn't planned on coming here, he hadn't planned on doing anything other than shopping but somehow, thirty minutes later this is where he found himself.

Knocking on the door Eli player nervously with his car keys, it took a few minutes but eventually he heard the shuffling of feet before the door swung open, revealing Shelby dressed in a fitted black, pant-suit.

"E … Eli," Shelby stammered, as she found herself face-to-face with Rachel's father for the first time in sixteen years.

"Shelby. Hello," Eli breathed. "I hope you don't mind me just turning up here but I need to speak to you about Rachel, it's important."

Shelby could hear the fear in his voice and she felt herself start to panic. "Is she alright?"

"No," Eli stuttered, shaking his head as he tried to stop the tears from falling.

Opening the door wider, she motioned for him to follow her inside, wordlessly she led him through to the small lounge. "Can I get you something to drink?"

"No thank-you," Eli answered waiting until she sat down opposite him.

"What are you doing here Eli?" Shelby asked, getting straight to the point.

Eli looked down at the floor before he started to speak. "When Richard and I first heard that Rachel had contacted you we were concerned, understandably so but then we saw how excited she was, Rachel was convinced that it was what she wanted so we knew we had to support her. And Rachel is a sensible girl so we knew we could trust her to make her own decisions."

"I-"

"And then when she told us that you didn't want a relationship with her we still left it alone and did the only thing we could; we loved her and supported her through her disappointment," Eli explained.

Shelby bit her bottom lip. "I didn't mean to hurt her."

"I know, but you did. Rachel might make out that she's tough but deep down she's just as insecure as every other sixteen year old, if not more so. You see the thing about Rachel is she dreams high, which Richard and I think is amazing but it also means that she gets her dreams shattered easily," Eli told her with a sad smile.

"When I dreamt about meeting my little-girl I dreamt about her being this baby that would still need me in her life. But she wasn't, she was an adult that didn't need me anymore," Shelby whispered.

Eli looked around the flat, his eyes settling on a picture of Rachel that he could tell had been taken at Regionals.

Shelby followed his gaze until she too found herself staring at the picture. "There was this photographer taking pictures at Regionals, he came to show me the ones of Vocal Adrenaline a few days later but the only one I wanted, the only one that had any place in my home was that one," Shelby admitted.

"You're wrong you know," Eli told her, breaking Shelby free from her daze.

Shelby frowned. "Wrong about what?"

"Rachel not needing you, she needs you now more than ever," Eli informed her, knowing that Rachel needed all of the love and support she could get right now.

"I'm not sure I can be what she needs," Shelby admitted, hating the fact that she had let her daughter down so badly.

Eli played nervously with his car keys before finally speaking again. "She's sick Shelby. Rachel's sick and … she … I know … she needs you, even if she won't admit it."

"Sick?" Shelby repeated, her voice low and questioning as she tried to come to terms with the words every parent dreaded ever hearing. "How sick?"

"It's er-"

Shelby could see the absolute heartache in Eli's eyes and that told her what she needed to know, that this wasn't a simple virus or cold they were talking about. "Eli?"

"It's cancer. A brain tumour … the doctors say that it's aggressive and virtually untreatable but Richard he's not giving up, he wants Rae to be part of a clinical trial in New York," Eli explained, watching as a look of horror flashed across Shelby's face.

"And what does Rachel want?" Shelby asked, reading between the lines of what Eli wasn't saying.

Shifting uncomfortably in the chair Eli looked up at the picture of Rachel before turning his attention back to Shelby, it was amazing how alike they looked. "I don't know. It's like she is using all the strength she had to pretend everything is alright, she's even gone to school today."

"Is that sensible?" Shelby wondered.

"It's what she needs to do, and as her parents we need to support whatever she decides and just be ready to pick up the pieces when the inevitable breakdown comes," Eli answered her.

Shelby nodded. "That's exactly why you and Richard are what she needs, not me. You know her, you know what she needs and what makes her happy. I'm just some woman that carried her for nine months and then sixteen years later came back into her life only to break her heart."

"Do you really believe that?" Eli questioned.

"I-"

"You know every night until Regionals she would go to sleep listening to that tape that you gave her, and for her I think it's like you were there, like she was finally getting the bedtime lullaby she always wanted," Eli whispered.

Standing up Shelby walked over to where the picture of Rachel sat. "I want to be everything she needs, but what if I'm not enough. Rachel she's so … amazing, she's like this little fireball of energy that just enchants everyone even if they don't realise it. She deserves someone who can be what she needs and I don't know if that's me."

"Then figure it out soon, because time isn't really on our side right now," Eli reminded her, his voice sounding angry for the first time since he had turned up on her doorstep.

Shelby nodded. "I do want to be her Mom."

"Then what's stopping you?" Eli asked as he stood up, handing Shelby back his cup he made to leave before turning to face her one last time. "If you decide that you're ready to be there for her then you know where to find us."

And with that he left, leaving Shelby alone with nothing put the picture of Rachel and the ghosts of broken dreams. Looking down at the image of her daughter forever frozen in time she realised that it was time to stop mourning the past and look to the future. The baby she had dreamt about might have been gone but Rachel was still here, and she needed her mother.

"It's time to step up to the plate," Shelby whispered to the emptiness as she gently blew a kiss at the picture of her daughter before heading out of the front door. Hoping that a walk would help her to figure out where to go from here.

GLEE - GLEE - GLEE

Pulling up outside of her house Puck watched as Rachel continued to stare out of the window. She had barely said two words the since he had helped her out of the girl's bathroom and the silence was starting to unsettle him. Because if there was on thing Berry wasn't it was quiet.

"What happened in the bathroom?" Puck asked.

"Nothing," Rachel sighed.

Puck could tell that she was keeping something from him. "Because if Santana said or did anything to upset then I will-"

"She didn't do anything," Rachel insisted.

"We so have Nationals in the bag with that performance," Puck declared, trying to change tact to get Rachel to open up to him.

Rachel looked towards her house where she could see her dad pacing nervously in front of the window. "I should go. My dads are waiting."

"Do you need a lift tomorrow?" Puck asked.

Shrugging her shoulders Rachel climbed down from his truck. "I don't know yet. I'll text you. And Noah … thank-you for today."

"Anytime Berry," Puck smiled, as he berated himself for turning into such a big-girls-blouse around her, but there was something about Rachel Berry that brought out the protective side in him.

Walking through the front door Rachel was immediately greeted by the concerned faces of her fathers.

"How was school?" Eli asked.

"How are you feeling Star?" Richard asked at the same time.

Laughing gently to herself Rachel shook her head as she made her way into her father's study before slumping down on the beanbag that they had brought for her when she was four-years-old and loved nothing more than to sit there and listen to music as they worked.

"I feel good Daddy," she smiled, looking up at her father. "And Abba, school was great, Noah and I totally hit our performance out the park," she smiled proudly.

"Just like we knew you would," Richard said as he and Eli sat down on the large couch opposite her.

Richard looked down at his daughter and for the first time since the shattering diagnosis that had rocked their world he could see a fierce determination in her eyes. Looking towards his husband he smiled tentatively waiting for Rachel to make the first move, the last thing they wanted to do was push her.

"I've come to a decision-"

Moving forward so that he was literally on the edge of his seat Eli held on tightly to his husband's hand. He wanted nothing more than to leap forward and embrace his little-girl and let her know they were there for her no matter what, but he didn't want to overwhelm her.

"I'm ready to go to New York," Rachel announced.

"You mean-"

Rachel nodded. "Bring it."

"You're going to do the clinical trial?" Richard asked.

"Not only am I going to do the clinical trial but I'm going to beat this thing, I don't care what the odds say nothing is going to stand between me and my dreams," Rachel insisted.

Seeing the pure joy on her dad's faces Rachel knew that Santana was right, that even if she knew the out come would be the same, that the cancer would win, she needed to do this, her fathers needed her to do this.

Standing up Richard practically ran for the phone. "I'm going to ring Sloane Kettering now, I already had your scans sent across they were just waiting for conformation."

As she watched her dad spring into action Rachel knew that she was doing the right thing, in the space of a few minutes her father had gone from lost and confused to a man with a mission; it may have been mission impossible but it gave him something to fight towards.

"There's just one condition," Rachel began, stopping her father in his tracks.

"Anything you say Star. We'll do anything you want," Eli vowed, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

Pulling her knees up to her chest Rachel leaned her head on top of them before turning to face her dad. "I need a few days to sort things out, I need to talk to a few people and I need to let everyone know why I won't be at Nationals."

"This isn't goodbye Star," Eli tried to assure her.

"I know," Rachel whispered. "But we don't know what's going to happen so I need to do this, I need to be prepared for whatever could happen. It doesn't mean I'm giving up, because I'm not … it just means I'm prepared."

Holding the phone close to him Richard nodded. "Take as long as you need. New York can wait a few days."

Watching her father head out of the study to make the phone call Rachel pulled herself to her feet before moving over and sitting next to her father. "Is it alright to be scared?"

"It's more than alright, it's perfectly normal," Eli reassured her.

"Good," Rachel nodded. "Because I'm really quite scared about what lies ahead. Just a few weeks ago I thought placing second at Regionals was the worst thing that could happen but now I know there's so much more to lose."

Running his hand through her hair Eli pulled his daughter close to him so that her head was resting on his lap. "I'm going to be by your side every step of the way Baby-Girl."

"I know Abba." Rachel smiled tiredly.

"We love you more than life itself. you're our world Star," Eli cried, resting his hand gently on her head.

Closing her eyes Rachel allowed herself to feel comforted by his touch, just like she always was as a child. "I know Abba. And that's why I know I'm going to be alright, because I have you and daddy and you've taught me that I can do whatever I put my mind too, and I'm going to beat this, just you wait and see."

GLEE - GLEE - GLEE

Playing nervously with the ivory keys of the piano Rachel gently played the familiar chords of Over The Rainbow as she waited for everyone to arrive for Glee practice. Her father's had spoken to Principal Figgins and explained the situation to him, he had agreed that Rachel could come in for Glee club only to speak to her team members and Mr. Schuester, then he had wished her the best and offered to pray for her.

Now four hours later she found herself sat in the familiar choir room that usually brought her so much comfort, not today though, not with the task she knew lie ahead.

Puck and Santana were the first to enter, immediately Puck made his way over to her.

"Hey," he smiled.

Rachel returned the smile, not trusting herself to speak, so instead she just reached out and took hold of his hand.

Puck was about to say something in return when they were interrupted by the rest of the Glee club and Mr. Schuester as everyone loudly bundled into the choir room.

"Rachel," Mr. Schuester frowned. "Is everything alright only I didn't see you in Spanish class this afternoon," he pointed out.

Rachel shook her head. "No. I was … I need to talk to you all, there's something I need to say."

"Okay," Mr. Schuester agreed, sensing the urgency in her voice.

The rest of the Glee club seemed to sense that something was happening between their star singer and coach as they all found an empty seat and sat down, more silent than Rachel could ever remember them being.

Shakily Rachel stood up from her seat and turned to address her team mates. "I … I know I've been acting a little strange lately-"

"Nothing new there," Kurt joked.

"Shut it," Puck growled, letting the other boy know that any more smart comments would not be tolerated.

Rachel ignored Kurt's comment and took a deep breath, trying to find the strength she needed to continue. "And there is a reason behind it. It's also the same reason that I won't be able to sing with you at Nationals."

"What?" Mercedes practically screeched. "Is this just some Diva fit to get us to chose your selection, because we had already decided that we were going to go with it."

"It's not about that," Rachel assured them.

Tina linked her hand with Arties. "Then what is it? Is it because we're not good enough? Because you weren't the only one that was upset by placing second at Regionals, we were all affected by it."

"If I could sing with you at Nationals I would, there is nowhere else I would rather be but-"

Santana could see that Rachel was struggling to find the words she needed to explain her situation to everyone, a part of her was tempted to just say what the brunette couldn't but she also knew that Rachel needed to do this herself.

The room was so silent that Rachel could hear the seconds ticking by. "I can't be with you at Nationals because I won't be able to perform. Next week I leave for New York-"

"You got an early scholarship?" Quinn asked.

"Will everyone just stop interrupting and let her speak," Santana snapped.

Stunned by the young Latino's outburst everyone nodded and turned to face Rachel again. "Sorry," they muttered.

"It's not a scholarship. I have … I have a malignant, highly aggressive brain tumour, it's so aggressive that the survival rate after five years is virtually zero and most people are lucky to get six to twelve months," Rachel babbled, knowing that if she stuck to the facts she might be able to make it through this in one piece.

Mr. Schuester stepped forward and placed his hand on Rachel's shoulder. "Rachel I … I don't know what to say."

"I don't need you to say anything," Rachel smiled sadly.

"I-"

Rachel shook her head. "I'm going to fight this, I know what the doctors are saying but I'm not ready to give up yet. That's why I'm going to New York, I'm going to take part in a clinical trial that is offering the best results yet."

The rest of the Glee club sat there in a stunned silence, for the first time not knowing what to say or do. Finally it was Brittany that broke the silence as she jumped out of her seat and wrapped her arms around the brunette.

"We don't want you to die Rachel," Brittany cried.

"Thanks," Rachel smiled.

Standing up from his chair Puck stepped forward and whispered in her ear. "Are you alright?"

"I'm not feeling so good," Rachel admitted, her head swimming.

"Let's get you home," Puck insisted.

Rachel turned to face the people that despite their differences she still considered them all to be her friends. "I'm really sorry I won't be able to be there. But I know you're going to be amazing."

Standing up Kurt took a step towards his one time nemesis as he held his hand out for her to shake, a silent mutual respect passing between them. "We'll bring that trophy home for you."

"We're all winners anyway," Rachel reassured them. "Be it a new friend, a new respect for our peers, a new love or just discovering the power of music we've all won something this year and that's what matters, that's all that matters," Rachel cried.

Kurt nodded. "And there's always next years Nationals."

"Bring it," Rachel laughed through her tears as she allowed Puck to lead her out of Glee club for what she really hoped would not be the last time, as he led her away from everything she knew and towards an uncertain future.


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry for the delay but my muse decided to take a holiday, but here is part 6 and one of the hardest chapters I've ever written. I just couldn't seem to get it right for ages. I will try and have the next chapter of Sweet Child up by the weekend, it's halfway there.

6.

The familiar sound of Madonna's voice filled the room as Rachel opened her suitcase up and started to pile in what she thought she would need. But she was packing blind here, I mean it wasn't like she had experience of packing for life saving brain surgery, no, this was a first for her.

"Star?" Eli questioned as he entered his daughter's room.

"I'm alright Abba," Rachel smiled, answering the question she knew would be next.

Slowly Eli sat down next to her, picking up the small gold locket that sat on top of a pile of clothes. "I remember when we brought you this."

"My fifth birthday," Rachel nodded.

"You refused to take it off for months afterwards, it wasn't until your ballet recital that we actually managed to persuade you to take it off," Eli remembered.

Rachel nodded as she let the gold chain fall through her fingers. "I don't know if I can do this," she silently admitted.

"How about we just take it one step at a time?" Eli suggested.

"One step at a time," Rachel repeated.

Eli nodded, walking over to her bookcase he picked up the miniature snow globe that sat nestled in between her sheet music. Picking it up he shook it in the palm of his head watching as the snow settled over Broadway. Richard had brought the novelty gift for Rachel on the family's first visit to New York for the young girl's sixth birthday.

"First step, New York City," Rachel breathed, taking the small snow globe from him and placing it in her suitcase.

"Star-" Eli began, his voice trailing off as he pondered how to approach the subject of Shelby with Rachel.

Rachel looked up at her father, her chocolate brown eyes wide and questioning. "Yes?"

"It doesn't matter," Eli lied, not wanting to burden her anymore when she already had so much to deal with.

Frowning Rachel leaned her head on her father's shoulder. "It obviously matters to you. What is it Abba?"

"I just … I love you Star, never forgot that," Eli cried, not ashamed to cry.

"I know," Rachel reassured him.

Looking up at the clock Eli ran his hand through Rachel's hair. "Noah should be here any minute now."

"I'm not sure if I can face Glee, it feels too much like I'd be going to say goodbye and I promised myself; no goodbyes," Rachel reminded him.

"Then don't think of it as goodbye, this of it more like a see you later," Eli suggested.

"See you later," Rachel repeated, her lips curling up into a small smile.

Eli nodded. "Because we're coming back. All of us."

"You're the best," Rachel laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling herself up onto his lap.

Entering the room Richard laughed as he sat down next to his husband and daughter. "One of the two best I hope?"

"Of course," Rachel agreed, pulling her father into her as she heard a loud knock on the door.

"That's probably Noah," Eli guessed as Rachel shifted herself from his lap to Richard's allowing him to get up and open the door.

Slowly making his way down the stairs Eli expected to find the tall boy with a Mohawk on the other side of the door, what he hadn't expected to find was a pale and shaking Shelby Corcoran.

"Sh … Shelby," Eli stammered out, not knowing what else to say.

Folding her hands across her chest Shelby faced him. "She's my daughter."

"I know," Eli agreed, puzzled by the vagueness of her comment. "Have you been drinking?" he asked, as he spotted the way her hands were shaking and the almost, glazed look in her eyes.

"No," Shelby assured him, her voice hollow.

Eli silently led her indoors and into the study. "What are you doing here Shelby."

"I can't stop thinking about what you said," Shelby admitted as she looked up at the study wall, her gaze shifting from picture to picture of Rachel. "Ever since you told me about the … about her … about … I can't get it out of my head, I just want to take her in my arms, hold her and make it all okay but I can't. Instead I just feel like I'm letting her down again," she cried.

"I get that really I do but until you pull yourself together I can't let you near her," Eli explained.

Shelby looked up at him, her eyes wide with shock. "But I'm her mother."

"Exactly, and Rachel needs people around her that can be strong and support her, she doesn't need people falling apart, she needs us all to be the adults and we need to let her be the child," Eli elaborated, needing Shelby to know that he wasn't cutting her out completely but that he needed to put Rachel's needs first.

"Right. Rachel first. Rachel comes first," Shelby muttered, her voice sounding alien even to her.

Eli walked over to where Shelby stood. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine it's just … for the past sixteen years all I've had to worry is about me and now I can't think of anything but the beautiful young lady that I helped create and the thought of her dying before I have the chance to tell her I love her, and how letting her go - twice - was the two worst decisions I ever made, and how it hurts. It physically hurts," Shelby sobbed, her voice catching in her throat.

Moving to stand next to her Eli looked up at the picture that she was focused on, it was of Rachel on her second birthday, the young girl was wearing nothing but a tiara and happy birthday sash as she smiled for the camera.

"We leave for New York tomorrow, Rachel has agreed to enter the clinical trial," Eli told her.

"Will it work?" Shelby needed to know.

Eli took a deep breath before answering. "There is no known cure but it could give us an extra five years with her, maybe more. I know that sounds selfish but she's my baby girl and I'm not ready to let go, whatever it takes, however much it costs we'll do it."

"I'm not going anywhere Abba," Rachel whispered, leaning against the doorframe.

Looking up at the doorway Shelby felt her heart stop as she found herself staring into the familiar chocolate brown orbs of her daughter.

"Star-"

"What is she doing here?" Rachel asked, cutting off her father.

Eli took a step towards her. "She wanted to see how you were."

"Why? I mean she made it perfectly clear that there was no place in her life for me, I mean if she couldn't handle having a teenage daughter she's hardly going to cope with having a sick teenage daughter now is she?" Rachel spat, her words directed towards her father as if she was trying to forget that Shelby was actually there, in her house.

"I should go," Shelby suggested moving to head towards the door.

Reaching out Eli grabbed her arm. "That's not the answer."

"Let her go," Rachel spat. "After all it's what she does best, every memory I have of my mother is her walking away from me, why change that now?"

"Rachel … I …"

"You're what? You're sorry? Me too, sorry that I ever wasted any time thinking that I wasn't good enough for you, that perhaps if I was more beautiful like Quinn or talented like Jesse then you might stick around," Rachel raved, her voice getting higher and higher.

Entering the study Richard looked from his husband, to Shelby then too his daughter before turning back to his husband. "What's going on in here?"

When no one answered him Richard took a step further into the room as four pairs of brown eyes all stood looking between each other, neither wanting to be the first to break the silence.

Standing in the doorway Rachel looked ready to run, her arms folded across her chest in a self-protective manner as her eyes darted between her fathers and Shelby. Her mind was reeling with unwanted emotions, she had only just been managing to keep it together without the added complication of her mother reappearing in her life.

Watching his daughter struggle to contain her emotions Richard wanted nothing more than to be able to take her away from it all. To a world that was full of music and laughter and cancer didn't exist, not even in people's nightmares. Blinking slowly he tilted his head upwards, catching site of the large portrait of the three of them that hung above the fireplace. Smiling to himself he prayed that they would find their way back to that as he took in the carefree smiles that all of them were wearing.

In the furthest corner of the room Eli let go of Shelby's arm, he knew that he couldn't make her stay, but he also knew that if she walked out on her daughter now it really would be for the last time. Rachel might have the biggest and most forgiving heart of anyone he knew but even she had a limit. Letting his arm drop to his side he watched as Shelby took a step backwards, almost as if she was shrinking away from Rachel's piercing glare. He wanted to say something to break the silence but there were no words, instead he stood back and prayed for his family.

Taking a step back Shelby found herself unable to move any further as she backed into the wall. Folding her arms across her chest she tried to stop herself from shaking as she looked down at the floor, unable to face the disappointment and pain she knew she would see in the young girls eyes. Tapping her toes on the floor she closed her eyes and did the only thing that she could, she started to hum.

Snapping her head upwards Rachel took a sharp intake of breath as she recognised the familiar tune that was starting to fill the room.

"Seriously? You really think that you can sing your way out of this?" Rachel asked, finally breaking the silence.

Shelby stopped humming and finally looked up. "It's what I do when I'm nervous … and scared."

"You're scared?" Rachel laughed bitterly. "You're not the one with an actual ticking time bomb in your head."

"Star-"

Rachel shook her head. "You had your chance, you got to go to New York, you got to at least chase your dream. So don't expect me to feel sorry for you."

"That isn't what I meant," Shelby whispered.

"I-"

As she listened to her daughter's voice falter Shelby finally found the strength she needed to step up and be a mother. "I'm sorry that I'm not enough for you. I'm sorry that I let my own insecurities stop me being the mother you needed but it was never about you, so please don't ever think that you weren't enough for me because you're more than enough. Any mother would be proud and honoured to have you, I was just so scared that I would never be good enough for you."

"Please, don't-"

Stepping forward once more Shelby rested her hands on either side of Rachel's face, as brown eyes met brown. "I thought nothing could ever hurt me like losing my dreams. But knowing I would never be a star wasn't anywhere near as painful as hearing that you're star could burn out before it's time."

Taking her mother's hands in hers Rachel let go of them before making her way over to the beanbag and letting herself collapse down into it. Whilst across the room Eli took his husband's hand in his as he led him out of the study, knowing that Rachel and Shelby needed time alone to talk through their issues.

"Did you ever think about what it would mean for me when you sent Jesse to seduce me?" Rachel asked.

Shelby sat down on the edge of the couch so she was just inches away from her daughter. "I didn't send him to seduce you."

"Befriend, seduce, what difference does it make? You still both set out to deceive me," Rachel reminded her.

"No I didn't think about what it would mean for you" Shelby admitted. "After seeing you sing at Sectionals all I could think about was what I needed, and I needed to have you in my life."

Rachel bit her bottom lip. "He broke my heart, I thought he really cared about me but all the time all he cared about was pleasing you."

"I can't erase the past, and I am so sorry for everything that happened I never meant to hurt you and walking away was the second biggest mistake of my life," Shelby admitted.

"What was the first one?" Rachel asked.

Leaning forward Shelby smiled softly. "Agreeing to not be a part of your life and signing away my rights."

"I leave for New York tomorrow," Rachel whispered.

Shelby nodded. "Your father told me."

"Not quite how I envisioned making my grand entrance to life in the Big Apple but if it gives me a future," Rachel admitted.

"Your father told me that the trial has had excellent results," Shelby said, not knowing what the right thing to say in this situation was.

Rachel nervously glanced towards the door to make sure her father's weren't lurking within earshot before she reached out with her leg and kicked the door shut. "That's what they need to believe."

"And what do you believe?" Shelby asked, reading between the lines.

"That I'm going to die, it might not be in six weeks, or maybe not even in six months but it'll be before six years. I've read the numbers, I've heard what the doctors have said, this isn't something that people survive and miracles only happen on TV. But my dads they need to believe and that's ok, I'll smile and take the treatment because once I'm gone there the ones that are going to be left to face the world alone," Rachel whispered sadly.

Shelby could feel the tears pooling in her eyes. "You don't know that."

"Yes I do, and I need you too know it too, because despite what my fathers think this is the beginning of the end, and I need someone to understand that," Rachel pleaded.

"I thought you were going to fight this, isn't that what going to New York is all about? Not giving up," Shelby asked, not ready to face the truth that Rachel was presenting her with.

Looking up at her mother Rachel smiled, a bittersweet smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "I know it might seem like it but this isn't me giving up, I'm prepared to fight for whatever extra time I can get but I know how this is going to end … I just don't know when."

"But you're only sixteen, you have your whole life ahead of you," Shelby cried.

"You think cancer cares about that?" Rachel asked rhetorically.

Moving herself down onto the floor Shelby reached her arms out. "Can I … do you mind if I just … can I hold you?"

"Ok," Rachel stuttered.

Perching on the edge of the beanbag Shelby held Rachel in her arms, at first it was awkward and uncoordinated but then something changed and the tiny form of her daughter seemed to melt perfectly into her arms. "I'm going to be there, for however much longer I get to have you in my life I'm going to be there."

"I really need to believe that right now," Rachel cried, her tears almost silent as she leaned further into her mother.

"I know you have no reason to trust me so I'll just have to prove it to you," Shelby vowed as she felt Rachel relax in her arms.

Closing her eyes she felt the soft breaths of her daughter as her small form seemed to lose what little energy she had left. For the second time that day music seemed to be the only way that Shelby could properly express herself. Running her hands through Rachel's thick locks she sung a lullaby to her only child and prayed to whoever was listening not to take her from them.

"Ooh child things are gonna be easier. Ooh child things will be brighter. Some day yeah we'll put it together and we'll get it all done. Some day when your head is much lighter. Some day yeah we'll walk in the rays of the beautiful sun. Some day when the world is much brighter …"

GLEE - GLEE - GLEE

Looking across at the small girl that sat in the passenger seat Puck couldn't help but worry as he took in the red rim of her eyes.

"Is everything alright Berry?" Puck asked.

Rachel nodded. "Yes. It's just been a bit of an emotionally draining day."

"We could turn around and go back if you're not feeling up to it?" Puck offered, even though he knew that whole Glee club was waiting for them he also knew that Rachel's health had to come first.

"I want to do this, it's going to be at least a few months before I get to see everyone again," Rachel smiled, trying her hardest to reassure him that she was up to this.

Reluctantly Puck nodded as he parked the car in front of the school. "If you're sure?"

"I am, now stop being such a girl," Rachel teased, winking at him as he climbed out of the truck and made his way around to her side to open the door for her.

"I'm nothing but a gentleman," Puck retorted.

Climbing down out of the truck Rachel threw him an amused glance as she followed him into the school building. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Puck smirked as he led her towards the darkened auditorium.

Slowly so that she didn't trip over anything Rachel followed Puck towards the best seats in the auditorium. "Noah. What's going on?" she asked, her brows wrinkled in confusion.

"Just shut up and take a seat," Puck laughed as he gently pushed her down into the chair.

"Where are you going?" Rachel asked as she watched him walk away.

Stopping in the aisle Puck turned to face her. "Berry for once in your life just shut and let someone else take control," he ordered with a wink, letting her know that he was only joking.

"Ok," Rachel agreed as she lifted up her hand and pretended to zip her lips closed.

"Good," Puck laughed as he headed up the stairs and onto the stage before disappearing behind the curtain.

Looking around her Rachel was starting to get unnerved by the silence and darkness of the auditorium before she felt another presence beside her, looking across she was shocked to see Mrs. Pillsbury sit down next to her. She was about to say something when she heard a loud click and the a spot light lit up the middle of the stage.

Mr. Schuester appeared standing right in the small illuminated circle. "This year has been one of the greatest of my teaching career as I've watched all of you grow and become a close-knit team before my very eyes, and whether or not they know it or you know it you're the heart of that Rachel, which is why you're Glee club team mates and friends wanted to do something to wish you good luck in New York."

The light moved so that it was on Mike. "We'll miss your amazing voice and unique personality, but we know that when this is over and you've kicked cancer's ass you'll be back here-"

"Taking all of the solos and annoying everyone with your need to be the centre of attention," Kurt smiled as the light moved to him, his eyes bright with unshed tears. "Until then I'll just have to carry the high-F on my own."

The auditorium went dark again until the light flickered back on this time revealing Santana and Brittany. "It'll be quiet without you," Santana said.

"You're weird," Brittany added. "But I like weird and I'll miss you, so hurry up and come back so that I can teach you how much fun it is to dance like nobody is watching."

"I hated you before I joined Glee club," Quinn admitted, as it became her turn in the spotlight. "But then I realised I only hated you because I didn't know you. You offered me support and understanding when no one else did and for that I will forever be thankful."

Mercedes stepped into the spotlight as Quinn stepped back. "When I hear you sing it makes me want to be the best I can, so thank-you for making me a better singer."

"Years ago a car accident took away my ability to walk, but it didn't stop me from dancing, because dreams are what you make them and I know that one day I will be first in line for the opening of your Broadway debut," Artie said as he wheeled into the centre of the stage.

"When you said that being a part of something special makes you special you were right, we're all special because we've got each other, we've got Glee and you're a big part of that so hurry up and come back to us," Tina said as she walked backwards and the stage was one again plunged into darkness.

A tall figure cast a shadow through the centre of the spotlight as Finn's tall frame become illuminated. "You made me realise that it doesn't matter what other people think and that it's alright to be different as long as you're being true to yourself."

As everyone lined up in the darkness of the stage one lone figure stepped forward as the spotlight shifted to the right revealing a single Mohawk. "This time last year I wouldn't have thought twice about throwing a slushy in your face. But now I'm not ashamed to call you my friend, and I don't care who knows it because I'm a badass. And I know that you are too because you're going to beat this cancer and prove everyone wrong. Because you don't give up, you didn't give up on me and you didn't give up on Glee and because of that, because of you we are all stood here today, just weeks away from McKinley High's first National competition in almost twenty years."

"And we know that you'll be right up there singing with us," Puck smiled as the whole stage lit up, thrusting all of them into the spotlight as the opening chords of a familiar song filled the auditorium.

"When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark," Tina and Artie sang, their voices flowing together in perfect harmony.

Stepping forward Mike and Matt took their turn to sing. "At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the lark."

"Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain though your dreams be tossed and blown," Brittany and Santana continued, their voices in perfect harmony.

"Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone, you'll never walk alone," Finn sang, pausing at the end to swallow past the lump in his throat.

Stepping forward Kurt wiped at the tears that fell down his face. "When you walk through a storm hold your head up high and don't be afraid of the dark."

"At the end of the storm is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the lark," Mercedes sung, her voice full of more emotion than ever before.

Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain though your dreams be tossed and blown," Quinn sang as she smiled sadly, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone, you'll never walk alone," Puck sang his voice soft and full of hope.

Eleven Glee club members and their teacher walked towards the front of the stage, united in their grief but full of hope as they all joined together, their voices a perfect melody as they brought the song to a close. "You'll never walk alone."

"You'll never walk alone," Rachel sang along with them from her seat as she felt Mrs. Pillsbury place a comforting hand on her shoulder.

A watery smile sparkled across her face as the events of the day all played together in here mind, like an old musical as she realised that even though she was about to face the biggest challenge of her life, and her future was uncertain at least she wouldn't have to face it alone.


	7. Chapter 7

7.

Nervously Rachel pushed open the familiar bedroom door, for the last few months she had been coming here at least once a week. At first it was under the pretence of giving Shaun singing lessons, but as the weeks went by a close friendship formed and it wasn't long before she realised that the weekly visits were benefiting her just as much.

"Hey," Rachel smiled.

Shaun looked away from the TV screen on the wall. "Hey."

"Sorry I didn't come by last week," Rachel apologised as she sat down in the comfortable chair next to the bed.

Smiling gently he silently let her know that it was alright. "I'm sure you had your reasons, anyway you're here now … I've missed you."

"Missed you too," Rachel breathed.

"You look different," Shaun pointed out, sensing that there was something wrong with his friend.

Her eyes darted around the room as Rachel started to panic, surely there was no way he could tell just by looking at her, I mean it's not like she was wearing a t-shirt announcing the news. "I do?"

"You look tired," Shaun pointed out, taking in the circles around her eyes.

Rachel nodded. "It's been a long week."

Being unable to move gave Shaun nothing but time to watch people, since the accident he had become a keen observer of human behaviour, and his knowledge of his new friend told him that something was going on with her. "It's more than that."

"How is therapy going?" Rachel asked, changing the subject.

Shaun however wasn't about to let her deflect the attention away from her. "Therapy is going well, it gives me time to do nothing but talk about myself, which is why I want to talk about you now."

"I-"

"I thought we were friends," Shaun breathed, he knew it was a low trick but he was starting to get very concerned about her.

Looking down at the ground Rachel bit her bottom lip before speaking. "I've been … I was in hospital for a few days and … well … I'm sick …"

"Sick?" Shaun stuttered.

"Yes," Rachel whispered, her voice barely audible over the sound of her heart beating against her chest.

Blinking slowly Shaun wanted nothing more than to be able to reach out and take his distraught friend in his arms, but he couldn't. "Hold my hand."

Silently Rachel obliged as she picked up his hand and held it close to her chest before moving the chair forward.

"What did say is wrong?" Shaun finally asked, a part of him didn't want to know, the same part of him that saw Rachel as a perfect, untouched, singing goddess that had brought laughter and music back into his life.

"Cancer. A brain tumour," Rachel explained, wondering how many times she had said that over the past week.

Shaun tried to keep his voice calm as he asked the next question. "When do you start treatment?"

"I'm going to New York to take part in a clinical trial, I leave tomorrow," Rachel answered, her voice thick with emotion.

"Clinical trial, that's good right?" Shaun asked.

Slowly as if it was weighted with lead Rachel shook her head. "No. It's just the only treatment that's offering any type of a future."

"I-"

"I have a glioblastoma multiforme, it's a stage four very aggressive type of brain tumour known as an astrocytoma, it's also located in a very precarious part of my brain," Rachel began to explain realising that this was the first time she had shared the full, encyclopaedia-edition, hard to digest version on her diagnosis with someone.

Shaun wanted to tighten his grip on her hand but as usual his body failed to respond. "But there is something they can do?"

"I'm going to have surgery to try and remove the majority of the tumour, during the surgery they are going to use very fine radiation and inject chemotherapy right into the site of the tumour. After that … depending on how successful the surgery is I'm going to start a chemotherapy and radiotherapy protocol," Rachel told him, her voice flat as she recited what had been explained to her so many times already.

"And then you'll be alright?" Zach hoped.

A part of Rachel wanted to lie and tell him that everything was going to be alright, but she couldn't. "I know it sounds all so made for TV movie but without treatment the doctors have given me six month. Even with treatment this is one of the most aggressive forms of brain cancer with the lowest survival rate. My dad he found this trial in New York which is offering long term survival of up to five years so-"

"Five years that's-"

"Better than six months," Rachel shrugged.

Shaun was trying hard not to cry, because if Rachel could be strong then so could he. "And who knows, in five years everything could change, people keep telling me that so the same goes for you."

"Right," Rachel nodded. "I mean no one ever knows what is just around the corner."

"What two better examples of that than us?" Shaun asked, as his lips curled up into a small, bittersweet smile.

An almost angry silence settled over them as they both found themselves pondering the unfairness of the hands they had been dealt. The silence only broken by the ticking of the second hand on Shaun's novelty football clock.

Looking around the room Rachel found herself really observing everything about it for the first time. From the framed football jersey to the track medals as she realised just how much one moment had taken from him.

"What's your biggest regret?" Rachel asked, being the first to speak.

Shaun's eyes rolled upwards before he looked in her direction. "Ever seen the film Never Been Kissed?"

"No," Rachel frowned.

"Really? Drew Barrymore, David Arquette?" Shaun questioned.

Rachel shook her head. "Never seen it."

"Well you should, it's so bad that it's almost good. Finn and I watched it a few years back," Shaun told her, his cheeks blushing slightly.

"What does that have to do with regrets?" Rachel wondered.

Shaun's whole faced turned the same bright red as his cheeks. "Because that's me. I've never been kissed."

"I find that hard to believe," Rachel smiled, watching him blush further.

"It's true, not even a peck on the lips, unless you count playing spin the bottle when I was ten," Shaun admitted.

Rachel eye's widened. "But you're a good-"

"Good looking jock," Shaun finished for her.

"Yes," Rachel agreed, her ears turning red.

Shaun licked his lips, as he felt his mouth go dry. "Maybe so, but I was only fifteen when the accident happened. I was into my sports and music. I honestly thought I had all the time in the world for girls, just goes to show how wrong I was."

"You're still here," Rachel pointed out.

"Not really though, I might as well be a ghost where girls are concerned," Shaun breathed, his voice full of longing.

Looking up at the clock Rachel realised that Puck would probably be waiting outside for her. "I need to go, there is so much left to arrange before tomorrow."

"When will I see you again?" Shaun asked, as he felt himself losing the battle against his emotions.

Rachel stood up and rested her hand on top of his. "I don't know."

"I-"

"I'll send you video messages, you can watch them on your laptop," Rachel assured him. "It will be like I never left and then I'll be back before you know it."

Shaun could feel the tears now falling freely down his face. "I hope so," he whispered.

Leaning forward Rachel gently wiped the tears from his face before leaning forward, resting her hand gently on either side of his face she smile softly before kissing him gently on the lips.

Closing his eyes Shaun found himself missing the contact as she finally pulled away from him. "I … why?"

"No regrets," Rachel smiled as she blew him a kiss before heading out of the door leaving Shaun alone as the last few minutes played over and over again in his mind like a movie.

GLEE - GLEE - GLEE

As Puck pulled up outside of her house Rachel leaned her head against the back of the seat and closed her eyes, smiling as the wind blew softly across her face.

"Your dad's will be waiting for you," Puck said, turning the engine off.

Rachel shook her head. "Daddy has already left for New York and Abba is going to be in Cleveland until late, he needs to finish up filing the paperwork on a big case before we leave tomorrow."

"Wow I can't believe you actually managed to talk them into leaving you home alone," Puck yawned.

"I didn't," Rachel smiled as she saw him trying to hide the yawn, apparently bad ass jocks didn't get tired. "Shelby is staying over tonight."

Puck nodded. "How's that going?"

"How would you feel if your father walked back into your life after turning his back on you?" Rachel asked.

"Pissed," Puck admitted.

Rachel raised her eyebrows. "Exactly. Even though we had this bonding moment she's still the woman that walked out on me twice. I don't know what to say to her."

"Wow, Rachel Berry doesn't know what to say, it must be serious," Puck joked.

Lightly Rachel punched him on the arm. "If I go in there it's just going to be lots of walking on eggshells and awkward conversations."

"You have to go home at some point Berry," Puck reminded her.

Looking out of the window at the streetlight opposite her Rachel leaned her head against the cool glass. "Tonight is probably the last night in a long time that I just get to be normal a sixteen year old teenager. Because once I get to New York everything is going to be about the cancer. I'm going to just be a diagnosis, a CT scan on a computer or a protocol number-"

"No one will ever take who you are away from you," Puck assured her. "You're one of the strongest personalities I know. Your Rachel Freaking Berry and not even cancer will ever change that."

"Maybe," Rachel breathed.

Puck looked at his reflection in the rear-view mirror. "Not maybe. Hell yeah!"

"I just want tonight to be about anything but cancer," Rachel admitted.

"I can do that," Puck grinned as he turned the key in the ignition and reversed his truck away form her house, making a left turn at the end of the road.

Rachel turned to face him. "Where are we going?"

"To enjoy being sixteen," Puck told her as he carefully manoeuvred the streets of Lima before finally reaching his destination.

"The bowling alley?" Rachel asked.

Puck shook his head. "It's not just a bowling alley, they have an arcade, a dance floor, karaoke and … roller-skates."

"I take it you come here a lot?" Rachel guessed.

Puck shrugged, his cheeks blushing. "My little sister loves it here, she says that a few hours here makes everything alright."

"You're a good man Noah," Rachel whispered as she followed him out of the truck.

Puck stopped in his tracks as her words echoed around in his mind, no one had ever said that to him before. He'd been called good-looking, people had complimented him on his sporting prowess but no one had ever called him a good man before.

"You alright?" Rachel asked.

Puck nodded. "Great. I'm great."

"Good," Rachel smiled as she linked arms with him and practically pulled him towards the brightly lit building.

Four games of bowling, a tray full of drinks, two bags of cotton candy, four cuddly toys, one very competitive game of Wii tennis and two pizzas later an exhausted Puck and Rachel were forced to call it a night as the establishment closed down for the night.

Sitting on the kerb by his truck Puck watched as Rachel tapped her foot along to a tune only she could hear.

"I don't know if I'm ready to go home yet," Rachel admitted.

"This is Lima, Ohio, everything is shut at this time," Puck reminded her.

Standing up Rachel tilted her head back and laughed before pulling Puck to his feet. "I have an idea."

"Really?" Puck asked, his voice low as he followed her across the parking lot and through the trees.

Stopping to catch her breath Rachel waited for him to catch up with her. "I haven't been here in months."

"It's the park," Puck frowned, wondering what was so special about the small area of grass.

"Where is your romantic side?" Rachel asked as she led him over to an area of grass by a small pond.

Sitting down Puck watched as the stars reflected off the gentle ripples in the water. "I've never been here after dark before."

"They do open air concerts here in the summer, I help out," Rachel explained.

Lying down Puck rested his arms under his head as Rachel lied down next to him, both of them seemingly entranced by the almost, full-moon that dominated the night sky.

"What are you thinking about?" Puck asked, tilting his head to watch her.

"Regrets," Rachel breathed.

Puck's brow furrowed as he watched her nervously chew her bottom lip. "Like?"

"I don't want to have any," Rachel admitted.

"Then don't," Puck smiled, even though deep down he knew it wasn't that simple.

Rolling over so that she was on her front with her head resting on her hands Rachel nodded. "Why did you kiss me after Regionals?"

"Adrenaline," Puck lied.

"Oh," Rachel breathed, her voice full of hurt.

Realising his mistake Puck sat up. "No. I just … I don't want to complicate things. You need to concentrate on yourself and any day now I'm going to be a father."

"But you do feel something?" Rachel asked.

After a few minutes Puck nodded. "Yes. I just don't know what though, because I've never felt like this about anyone before."

"You're my best friend," Rachel admitted, her voice nothing more than a whisper.

Laughing softly Puck ran his hand through his hair. "I don't think I've ever been friends with a girl before."

"If things were different do you think we would ever be boyfriend and girlfriend?" Rachel wondered.

Considering his answer carefully Puck watched as the stars reflected in her rich, chocolate orbs. "Maybe. Maybe not."

"As decisive as ever," Rachel laughed.

"I like you, in a way I've never liked anyone before. But I know who I am and I've never done the boyfriend and girlfriend thing before, it's just not who I am and I don't want to … you're … I don't want to ever be the person to break your heart," Puck explained, his voice barely audible over the sound of the wind through the trees.

Rachel watched as a small bird landed on the pond before turning her attention back to Puck. "Jesse broke my heart. I thought he really wanted me but he was just working for Shelby and to think I almost …"

"Almost what?" Puck asked.

"Almost let him be the person I lost my virginity too," Rachel breathed.

Puck sat up straight. "But I thought?"

"I lied to Finn, I didn't want him to think I was weird and uptight for not going through with it," Rachel sighed.

"So you didn't?" Puck double checked.

Rachel shook her head. "No."

"Which means you're still a-"

Nodding Rachel smiled. "Virgin. Yes."

"Woah," Puck breathed, his heart beating against his chest as he tried to pinpoint why it seemed to be pumping so much more than usual.

Suddenly quiet Rachel looked down at her hands as she played with her nails. "Which means I'll probably never sleep with anyone now."

"You don't know that," Puck tried to reassure her.

"I'm probably going to die a virgin," Rachel stuttered.

Tentatively Puck reached out and rested his hand on the small of her back. "You can't think like that."

"Boys never noticed me before all of this, now no one is going to think twice about me, I mean who wants to date a dying girl," Rachel raved, her voice full of anger at the situation.

"You are worth so much more than any of the guys at school," Puck insisted.

Pulling herself up to her knees Rachel rested her hand on his shoulders. "What about you Noah?"

"What about me?" Puck asked, starting to feel uncomfortable.

Rachel made sure to keep eye contact as she spoke. "Would you … you know … I mean you're here, I'm here … we're friends so it doesn't have to be complicated. Just one friend helping out another friend."

Puck almost choked on nothing as she spelt out her proposition. "You make it sound simple, like you're asking me to do a music video with you or something."

"It doesn't need to be any more complicated than it is. It's just like in Friends when Joey and Phoebe agreed to get married if they were still single at thirty," Rachel reasoned.

"But we're not thirty," Puck pointed out.

Rachel picked a handful of daisy's from the ground and started threading them through each other. "And I never will be."

"You don't-"

"Yes I do," Rachel insisted, cutting him off. "Twenty maybe, thirty never."

Puck watched as she added another daisy to the chain. "Well how about this; if at twenty you're still a … you know then … yes … but until then … I can't."

"Let's let the daisy decide," Rachel smiled as she picked a fresh daisy.

"Huh?" Puck frowned.

Rachel rolled the tiny flower between her fingers. "A bit like the he loves me, he loves me not game," she smiled as she began plucking the petals off one by one. "Yes. No. Yes. No-"

"Stop," Puck pleaded taking the daisy from her and throwing it towards the pond.

"It's not like you've never had sex before," Rachel reminded him.

Puck screwed his eyes together as he took a deep breath before finding the strength to face her. "That's not the point here."

"Then what is?" Rachel asked.

"This isn't like every other time, this isn't just going to be about alcohol, sex and a night of fun. I like … I care about you, a lot," Puck admitted.

Rachel nodded, running her hand through his hair. "Which is why I want it to be you. I want to lose my virginity to you Noah Puckerman."

"You're serious about this aren't you?" Puck asked as he took in the determined look in her eyes.

Rachel nodded, her eyes sparkling. "You're my closest friend. I want to do this and I need it to be you, there's no one else I would trust enough to not take advantage or make more of it."

"I don't-"

"Noah. Please," Rachel whispered into his ear as she ran her hand through his hair.

Despite his protests Puck was still a hot-blooded-male, a fact that he was quickly reminded of as he felt his body respond to Rachel's touch. "Berry … I …"

"Sh," Rachel sung, kissing the back of his neck as her hands fumbled nervously with his zip.

"We're really doing this aren't we?" Puck asked, his voice low as he felt her hand make it's way down his stomach until it reached the waistband of his boxers.

Reaching inside his boxers Rachel leaned closer to him, her lips trailing kisses across his collarbone as she felt his hand creep gently up her thigh. "We're really doing this," she breathed, her voice light and free from all the pain and uncertainty of the past few weeks.

"Ok," Noah agreed as he slowly fell to the ground pulling her on top of him, being careful not to lose contact at the same time.

"Noah," Rachel breathed as she felt his other hand move through her hair.

Gently Noah pulled her closer to him as his lips found hers. "Sh," he breathed.

With the stars reflecting brightly on the surface of the pond, as the wind whistled through the tress in an almost melodious way Rachel Berry lost her virginity as Noah Puckerman realised the difference between sex and making love.

It was also the exact moment that Noah Puckerman found himself finally understanding what everyone had been dancing, writing and singing about for centuries. As he finally realised what the new emotion he had been feeling was. He was in love, for the first time in sixteen years Bas Ass Noah Puckerman was in love with a girl.

And it was Puck came to that realisation that Rachel Berry allowed herself to completely let go and just be a sixteen year old girl experiencing her first time with someone she cared about, someone she loved.

With the moon high in the sky the moment was almost perfect, marred only by the aggressive tumour that was slowly eating away at Rachel's future happiness.

G  
L  
E  
E

I decided to put this authors note at the end because I didn't want to give away what happened in this chapter. When planning this story I made a very conscious decision to stay true to the heartbreaking reality of Rachel's diagnosis, I didn't want to make it a soap opera brain tumour that miraculously disappears. It was either write it honestly or not write it at all. Just like I made a conscious decision to leave most of the final scene unwritten and leave it to people's imaginations rather than write it in full.

Thank you so much to everyone that has reviewed, this story means a lot to me and the reviews really do too. I wasn't sure when I started writing it if people would read it because of the subject so it makes me a very happy writer to receive all the alerts I have.


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